Random thoughts



The Substream's Film Lab

Home » Random thoughts, Reviews

What makes a good film? What films achieve the fabled 4 out of 10?

Submitted by on April 14, 2008 – 9:32 amNo Comment

Okay, so I am going to spend most of the time pulling seven bells of shite out of movies that don’t make the grade. You may be asking, are there any movies I actually do like? Are there any films out there that get the fabled 4 out of 10 score? Oh yes. This post is to discuss just some of these fantastic films and encourage you to watch them. If you have any suggestions of what makes a fantastic film then leave me a comment and I’ll debate it with you until the cows come home. Be advised, these choices are entirely personal and may get a bit weird!

Anyway, on to the perfection (well not quite):

We start the ball rolling with a film that has a bad guy who looks like a good guy (non-stereotypical), a good guy that looks like the bad guy, a father who’s obsession with his work overshadows his time with his daughter, a daughter who’s obsessed with drifting on to her imagination, an evil mob, an homage to a musical great (the sound of music), and one of the most saddening and heart-warming stories of them all. It’s a film that manages to make your spine tingle as the first title comes onto the screen (along with the great Lion King). I’m talking of no less, the genius of ’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Oh yes. I took you for a ride with that one didn’t I! Anyhoo, this film has it all, including some quite classic comedy and lots of hidden innuendo. It was ahead of its time (considering it was telling a tale of old). This film has the first usage of the word “bimbette” to describe a quite randy broom. If you haven’t seen this film then before you pull me emotionally apart for liking it, I suggest you watch it. Forget the fact that it’s Disney and they cater for children. Forget the fact that people are singing and dancing from the get go. Forget the fact that you have passed into an age which is obsessed with “maturity”. Enjoy it for what it is: An enjoyable romp back into childhood. Fantastic. This movie is the epitome of 4 out of 10 (The best score, for those who can’t keep up).

Second up is that of Memento. I can’t really talk about this film’s genius if you haven’t seen it, just see it!

Thirdly, comes Donnie Darko. This is another film that I can’t talk about due to the spoilers it would bring up. Feel free to discuss this in the comment section though. I love a good argument.

Fourth position belongs to the second best romance film of our generation: “Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”. Confusing, beautiful and yet ultimately it gets better on repeat viewings.

Fifth position (and you’re going to like this one) is Kull the Conqueror. What? I hear you ask. Yes, I do mean the cheap made film that should have been a straight to video special starring Kevin Sorbo and Tia Carrere. Oh yes. Sometimes you watch a film with massive expectations. Often these films cannot live up to those expectations (Like Shrek 3 / Spiderman 3 etc). I watched Kull the Conqueror late on a Thursday evening on a cable channel. This was a film that I knew would be bad. And guess what? It was. So bad, it was hilarious. This was the film that these spoof movies try and emulate. Every cliché is perfectly used. It was as predictable as any film, but it almost rejoiced in the fact. I never stopped laughing. This is a film you watch once and once only. I imagine my expectations of it have gotten so far into the stratosphere that it could never come up to them anymore. Nevertheless, on a date 3 years ago on a channel that deserves no mention, this gem was viewed and I loved it. Worth checking out if only to see what makes a bad film, so bad it’s good. Oh, and this is probably the only film that IMDB and I agree on. They and I both give it a 4 out of 10. Just don’t watch it a second time.

Well, there are my thoughts. Please feel free to add your own comments and justify them dammit.

Comments are closed.