Random thoughts



The Substream's Film Lab

Home » Random thoughts

Cinema + Gym = Gynema?

Submitted by on January 7, 2009 – 10:44 amOne Comment

gynemaThis morning I had a lecture from my doctor regarding my health. Apparently my “standard cholesterol” level is fine, but my “” is looking bad! I didn’t know that there were different types! Anyway, it seems that I need (according to her) some daily exercise.

I informed my dear doctor of the impracticality of exercise in my life due to the fact that I basically sit on my arse for a living (who doesn’t these days). It seems that this verbal rebellion was greeted with hostility as she claimed she was being kind to me by not mentioning my smoking habit (we are a dying breed you know). She then proceeded to throw various leaflets in my direction about black lungs and fatty build-up in my . This is not something I wish to hear before breakfast.

Anyway I’m sure you are sitting there trying to figure out the relevance my unhealthy lifestyle has with and reviews. Well in truth, it has very little to do with each other and therein lies the point of this message.

Surely there must be someone out there who has mixed up a true with gym equipment instead of seats. Most films I watch these days are loud enough to hear over any panting and burned out exercisers. If it is true that this business does not exist, may I throw out the idea to any of you to take up? If you go to your standard gym (which I don’t) you may be lucky to have on the wall showing the news or DVD rentals. However, I want latest cinematic releases on a decent size screen (about 11m wide should be sufficient) whilst burning my unwanted Christmas fat.

I would pay good money to go to a cinema with a bunch of chubby likeminded individuals, sweating like they’ve just been informed of their new status of “Chief Eunuch”. Not only would we all get a good 2 hour run in whilst enjoying a good film (or a bad film for that matter), we could get fit. At least we wouldn’t be sitting on our arses eating popcorn, hot dogs and Pick and Mix sweats.

The cinematic experience is ever changing and I for one don’t like the idea that Warner Bros, Sony et al, all want our posteriors on seats to watch their new release. Why not open a Gynema? Okay, so the term Gynema sounds like some sort of STi but you get my point!

Financially speaking I would relish the opportunity of joining a gym with a cinema screen as these kinds of places offer a membership fee each month instead of a flat entrance fee. For someone who is keen to save as much money as possible (due to my thrifty nature) I would join up in an instant. However, as it stands I refuse to cough up some dough for running on the spot along with some fitness videos (or Flashdance).

So I open this up to you. Do you think you’d join this Gynema? Would you appreciate the opportunity to get fit whilst watching a solid movie or do you just think I am very rapidly losing it into insanity-ville?

Comments are closed.