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A collection of movies that need to be made!

Submitted by on June 27, 2008 – 6:41 pmOne Comment

In the last few years we have been treated to untold amounts of sequels. What we really want though is new films to whet our appetites. Below is a suggestion for films that should be made and films that we were promised and have yet to surface. Let’s have a go at Hollywood for not pleasing the public. Give us your suggestions and perhaps we can stir a storm and finally get to see 4.

So in no specific order comes my list of “you should be making”.

Red Dwarf the Movie:

A quite excellent television show which unfortunately peaked in series 6 and ended in series 8. Kryten, Lister, The Cat and (lest we forget) the excellent Arnold Judas Rimmer made up what is quite possibly the funniest bunch of misfits on screen. We waited years between series and were always promised a movie. Unfortunately as time has passed Doug Naylor and Rob Grant have not got round to completing it. Surely this is a film we deserve. Not only for the fans of original series but also a should be introduced to a walking definition of the word “Smeg Head”.


Okay, so I am taking a long leap of the cliff of sanity here, but with all of the American superhero movies being made, it is time we were treated to this extremely camp (in hindsight) doofus of an action hero. The yellow caped crusader battled evil villians such as General Blight, Doctor Gloom and Appleman. Whenever a young boy named eric eats a banana, some extreme campness (and bad flying) ensues. Surely this, the height of all things British should be produced. I for one, would pay good money to watch a film with the likes of Colin Firth dressed in a blue outfit with a yellow cape fly into the police station wall over and over again.

Danger mouse

Okay, so I’m going a bit mad with the British suggestions, but what do you expect: me to suggest another damn Police Academy ?¬† The fact is Danger mouse (along with Count Duckula) entertained children and adults every weekday afternoon. It looked like a children’s programme, but the amount of innuendo and humour in it won a great deal of people’s hearts. He drove a cool car, had a moron as a sidekick called Penfold (excellently voiced by the late great Terry Scott) and had an evil villain named Baron Greenback (sounds like Bacon). This nemesis had a white hairy slug for a pet and a crow for a henchman. No other bad guy has had such an evil voice. It sounded as if he had been forced to smoke cigars throughout most of his miserable life. Excellent stuff!

Planet of The Apes 2

Before you all go nuts at me for not knowing my cinema history, I am referring to the sequel of Tim Burton’s reimaging. I for one, enjoyed the film starring . It wasn’t perfect, but at 4 out of 10, we accept that. What I did not enjoy was the ambiguous ending that offered up a sequel but has yet to deliver. Damn you Hollywood, I want closure! Bring back Marky Mark, now he has learned how to act and explain that statue!

Ben Elton’s Dead Famous

This book SHOULD be made into a film. A murder in a “Big Brother” style game show with millions of viewers watching. It is a quite brilliant novel and deserves its time on the Big Screen. Especially considering the fact that the quite awful Maybe Baby (Ben Elton’s last Big Screen adaptation) was made. If you haven’t read the book, then do so and if you want to see the film then its time to harass Hollywood together!


From the writers of Love Actually, Bridget Jones’s Diary (Richard Curtis) and Dead Famous (Ben Elton) comes the best sarcastic anti-hero of all time. Edmund Blackadder was last seen in Blackadder: Back & Forth; shown in the big tent in the middle of (also known as the Millenium Dome). In fact, it was the best part of visiting the dome at the time. In the final series (Blackadder goes Forth) the writers took you from humour to sadness in a matter of seconds. This talent of writing is rarely seen in new Hollywood films. Again, if you have not seen it, then go and buy the DVD’s……all of them! There could be no other Blackadder than Rowan Atkinson and no other Baldrick than Tony Robinson. Pull Atkinson off of awful Bean sequels and Robinson off of Time Team and let’s get laughing at Blackadder the Movie.

Dean Koontz’s: Nothing

Could someone please explain to me the “genius” that is Stephen King? Despite the films that have been made, to me the books are dull. It is almost as if he has a good idea and quickly flushes it down the toilet in an attempt to mix things up. The Shining (Stanley Kubrick) was excellent, but the book was contrived. Misery was very similar in the fact that I was bored after page 50.

Dean Koontz on the other hand has (some) interesting ideas and writes as well! Wow! An author who can write interestingly. This book is one of a trilogy whose main character is Christopher Snow who discovers “strange things” happening in Moonlight Bay. Okay, so it doesn’t sound that good, but bear in mind that Mr Snow suffers from xeroderma pigmentosum and Dean Koontz does “mysterious” very well, you have the makings of a good film. Well at least a damn B-movie people! It’s time Mr King was pushed aside for some of Mr Koontz’s better work (and preferably not acted in by Billy Zane).

Well, that is the beginning of a very long list of movies they should make. As random as they seem, if Don’t Mess with the Zohan and can be greenlit, it is time they looked elsewhere for ideas!

Suggestions and additions to this list are always welcome and check back for even more movies that they should make

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