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4 out of 10 on the road – sitting on the side of the M4

Submitted by on July 3, 2009 – 10:38 amOne Comment

breakdownSo there I was, driving along calmly, planning on writing a post on the unusual quirks of my very beige such as the squeaky heater, rubber trim that keeps falling off at high speeds and a fridge door that simply won’t stay shut, when my other unusual quirk suddenly became a problem.
The temperature needle suddenly went straight to “boiling” and inexplicably died. In fact it died better than most actors in modern films as it went into involuntary spasms for twenty seconds before resting at the starting position.

This didn’t concern me much as I had hoped to include it in my list of quirks when, after twelve miles all power was lost from the mobile office and I veered gently into the hard shoulder of the .

After a little despondence and a few calls to the only member of my family who looks under car bonnets, I resolved to wait until the presently dead vehicle regained life by cooling down. Twenty minutes later I was greeted by an unfriendly uniformed chap who seemed to believe he was part of the police force. He seemed to have a “I can condescend you because I carry a badge” look about him. He explained that I would be forcibly removed from the if I could not drive the vehicle off. He gave me two hours to remove the vehicle of my own accord (as I do not belong to any service – too much of a miser) or he would call a truck to take me to the next junction (2 miles away) and dump my vehicle off of the fast flowing road. For this privilege, I would be charged £200.

Naturally since I am too stingy to consider a breakdown service in the first place, I am not likely to be happy paying a £200 fee to move a vehicle a few miles down the road, so I did what any sane person would do and called a family member! Yes, as my sister was settling down for a nice cup of tea after a long day’s work she received a call from a brother who insisted she get off of her backside, buy a towing rope and rescue me. This is a testament to good family relations as without hesitation she left immediately.

So here I am waiting for recovery from my dear sister (who’s likely to be getting an extra nice Christmas present this year), sitting by the side of the motorway, writing this piece. I could have a moan about the whole situation but to be fair, if I had been bothered to get breakdown cover, I would be writing this tale in the comfort of a recovery vehicle.

Let me just add that I truly do love this vehicle. It is perhaps the most uninteresting camping van ever made, but with its quirks and up-til-now reliability I would heartily recommend giving up work for a couple of months and going on the road. Just be sure to call your local breakdown service beforehand.

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