So a film about an obsessed
woman who has some crazy notion that she is loved (or at least desired) by the nearest creature with certain levels of testosterone, is nothing new. In fact it has been told over and over again (in many different guises). Just off the top of my head I can name three: Play Misty for Me, Fatal Attraction
So why does the world need another bout of this cack? Did no-one learn from Michael Douglas’s woman-fearing scenes? Clearly not, as Obsessed
is released this week (in the U.K). The only difference between this and all of its predecessors is that there are more fashionably attractive people in the roles...and this one is cack!
A successful asset manager, who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage. But a temp worker starts stalking him; all the things he's worked so hard for are placed in jeopardy.
So Beyoncé Knowles
’s character is obsessed about her husband and forbids any female secretaries at his workplace, her husband (played by Idris Elba
) is obsessed about his work (whatever that is) and Ali Larter
(the resident psychopath-come-temp) is obsessed about the work-obsessed husband of the obsessive one. This film is well titled to say the least.
Unfortunately it is about the only thing that is well done. Its writing credits indicate that David Loughery
is responsible. It seems that Mr Loughery doesn’t exactly have a promising curriculum vitae. He was responsible for the screenplay of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (they met “God”), Money Train, Passenger 57 and Lakeview Terrace. All of these films (to me) indicate the taking of a relatively okay story and adding awful dialogue and forgetting all that tedious exposition! Nothing is new here then, in Obsessed. It is as if Mr Loughery watched a few too many Michael Douglas films and thought: “I know. I can get a really scary character who becomes obsessed about a happily married man...but this time they’ll look good”. This was a mistake Mr Loughery. Writing is all about making stuff
up! It is not about taking bits of what has already been told (and better) and spitting out any old tat!
So Beyoncé spends almost all of the time saying the word “baby” and looking good in a range of fashionable outfits whilst her husband cries about being stalked to his friend (played by Jerry O’Connell). I am never sure as to why Mr O’Connell hasn't become a bigger name. Why didn’t they make the evil psychopath stalker
person, a gay (played by O’Connell)? That would have been a bit more interesting (or at least different).
Idris Elba manages to play his part relatively well but is let down by his inability to get his onscreen wife to look like she’s interested in him. He certainly knows how to play a typical “business man”. He is given a small range of terminology to help us to believe his competencies. In the first ten minutes we hear him say “portfolio” and “hedge fund” as if he means it, so I suppose we must believe he’s a high flyer!
So now on to Ali Larter: she is perhaps the weakest part of Heroes (the classic series which has gone downhill since series 1). Somehow her character just keeps coming back like an attack of genital warts! She plays a similarly empty character in this affair and (true to form) she refuses to just sod off! We are reminded (by Beyoncé) that Larter is a very attractive woman which is a good thing as I am completely undersold on the idea that she could entice any man into bed (which probably explains the need for a drug). She spends the first 3 seconds of her first scene eyeing up Derek (played by Elba) and the rest of the time aching to get down to the old undies and get busy! I’m sorry if this sounds a bit like me being tetchy but this was annoying from start to finish.
Why is there a constant need for Singers to sell themselves as “actors”? I don’t get it! How much adoration does one require in life? Surely they have made enough figurines of the aforementioned Beyoncé so is she not desired enough by the public? Movies (by definition) are moving pictures. More recently they are speaking-moving-pictures. Notice that I stated “speaking” and not “singing”. I watched Obsessed expecting her to break out into song every five minutes, but instead she just called her husband “baby” again and they changed the scene.
I despised this film. Sadly its main character (Elba) who did the greatest job, is surrounded by half-arsed attempts at acting, a singer who desperately wants more fame, a script that would have been better being thrown into a cesspit before anyone tried to read it and a house with the highest of ceilings you have ever known!
Okay, so I knew that I wasn’t going to love this film. However I did expect more from it than a pointless and shameless remake with all the good bits cut out. Everyone looks good but Beyoncé only starts to shine at the very end, Elba is surrounded by muppets, the writing is shameful and Larter is as scary as a moist kitchen towel.
Save yourself the hassle and cost of this film by revisiting some classics. Play Misty for Me (for example) is still a great watch. You may not desire the cast anymore (due to fashion changing) but at least you may get change from the £8 it would cost you to go and see this rubbish!
Rating: 1.5 out of 5